


The Absence

by CabiriaMinerva



Category: Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016), Alice in Wonderland (Movies - Burton)
Genre: Dreams, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-08 09:50:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8839960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CabiriaMinerva/pseuds/CabiriaMinerva
Summary: I've tried to leave it all behind meBut I woke up and there they were beside meAnd I don't believe it but I guess it's trueSome feelings, they can travel too(Florence +  the Machines, Wish that you were here)





	1. Chapter 1

 

And now I’m reaching out with every note I sing  
And I hope it gets you on some pacific wind  
Wraps itself around you and whispers in your ear  
Tells you that I miss you and I wish that you were here

Florence + the Machines, _Wish that you were here_

 

They’d been watching him for various minutes, and both Bayard and Mally were now frowning in confusion.

«Your majesty…?» dared the tiny Dormouse.

«I am worried, my friends,» sighed Mariana, earning even more confused looks.

Although the bloodhound wasn’t as straightforward as Mally, even he wasn’t exactly sure _what_ they were observing and _why_ the White Queen should be worried. He moved is gaze toward the Hatter’s workshop once again: the man was working quickly – a not-so-human speed, to be perfectly honest, but that wouldn’t have worried anyone in the whole Underland, not in the least! – and humming and mumbling about how the way the sun rays hit the threads made them thicker and more incline to purring.

«Something’s amiss with our dear Tarrant.» She sighed again, her delicate neck tilted.

«I’m afraid we don’t understand, your majesty… The Hatter seems perfectly a-normal to me. Don’t you agree, Bayard?»

The bloodhound nodded. «I do. Although I feel something different in his scent. Not much, just a hint… Maybe he simply changed that awful soap…» he said, not at all convinced.

«No, I can _feel_ … he doesn’t laugh as much as he did _before_ . And when he does, I don’t think it’s the same laughter. And his hats… they’re perfect, as always, but they used to be much more… _He_ used to be much more, _before_.»

Three pair of eyes went back to the man, working on a fabulous bonnet with a lace décor and… and yes, something was amiss. The toothy smile lacked some of its lunacy and the round, green iris were strangely quiet.

«Oh,» quietly said Mally.

«Oh,» echoed Bayard.

«I dread he may have caught the _Absence._ »

With a gasp, Mally covered her tiny mouth with a tiny paw.

«I wouldn’t dare doubting you, majesty, but… are you certain?» shyly asked Bayard.

«Well, that would make perfect sense, wouldn’t it?» Chessur appeared in his usual manner, startling them. Well, not the Queen, for she always knew when he’d arrive.

«Would it?» asked Mally raising an eyebrow.

«It was inevitable, rest assured. A sane man might have avoided it, but he wouldn’t have been the Hatter, and that would never have happened.»

The Queen nodded in agreement, while Mally stared, still trying to understand what was inevitable and why had it led to this.

«I’ve only seen the Absence once, when I was barely more than a toddler.» Sadness permeated her voice. «A young maid in our castle was afflicted by it for the longest of time. It was devastating. This…» she glimpsed at the man, who was still working, unaware of the small party that had gathered before his door. «… is just the beginning.»

«Isn’t there a cure, your majesty?» inquired Bayard.

«Oh, there is,» interfered Chessur, «there are two, to be correct. But none that we can provide, for one is a matter between him and Time, and the other... well…»

«Would it kill you to be less cryptic, for once? If this Absence is so dangerous, we _must_ do something!»

«The other only _she_ can give.»

«She?» Mally looked confusedly at the White Queen. «Then why can’t we provide it?»

«He is not talking about me, Mally.» The woman smiled her soft, dark smile.

«But if he’s not, then–»

Bayard interrupted her. «But we don’t know when _she’_ s coming back. We can’t even be sure that _she_ is coming back at all.»

Mally’s face brightened with sudden realization. _Oh. She. But why…?_

«She will come when the Time is right, I’m afraid.» sighed Mirana. «And even if she comes, there is no way to know she’ll be able to help him. The Absence takes a heavy toll and its consequences aren’t always reversible, not the same, for that matter. One could come back like nothing happened, another could sink into the darkness, others try to lose themselves.»

«We can’t let him do that!» cried out Mally, growing more worried by the second.

« _We_ have little power in this matter. _We_ can only hope _she_ ’ll find out the right Time, hopefully sooner than later.» They all focused again on the Hatter. «As always, _she_ seems to be the only one who can step up.»

«But what is it that she must do? Can’t we do it?»

«Can _we_?» Chessur twirled mid-air, his tail already half vanished. «Either he forgets the Sparkle that she lit a long time ago, or _she_ comes back, claiming what’s hers to take, and fills the Void causing the Absence. _Can we do it?_ » The words rolled sarcastically on his tongue. «What _I_ can tell you, is that _I_ don’t want to attend the moment when the Absence gulps him down. Whatever leftover it may leave behind, it wouldn’t be the Hatter.» And with that, only his eyes and smile lingered for a few seconds above the party.

«But there must be something we can do…» Mally whispered with a resigned distress.

«We can have faith in her, as we always did.» The White Queen extended her pale hand, her fingers wiggling as if trying to ghostly comfort the unaware hatter. «I only hope her right Time isn’t too late for him.» She sighed. «Alice, he’s waiting for you…»

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

I've tried to leave it all behind me  
But I woke up and there they were beside me  
And I don't believe it but I guess it's true  
Some feelings, they can travel too

Florence + the Machines,  _Wish that you were here_

 

_«Alice, he’s waiting for you…»_

Alice Kingsleigh jerked awake, the palms of her hands slightly sweaty from the agitation. She blinked in confusion a few times before realizing she was still in her cabin and that, considering the darkness surrounding her, it had to be the middle of the night. She run her fingers through her messy hair and fell back on the mattress.

The dreams had become increasingly intense: at first they were barely more than memories of Underland and all of her friends. But then months had passed and had become a year. And then two. And her sweet memories had become more and more nostalgic, her dreams more wishful: she had dreamt of coming back, of hugs and laughter and… She bit her bottom lip, trying to restrain a tear that was begging her to be shed.

She missed them, her friends, their strange and muchy world.

And she missed  _him_ . 

Nestling under her blanket, she hoped to find some kind of comfort – which she already knew could not be found.

She dreamed of him. A lot. He was her best friend, with his stained fingers and crooked smile, with his orange and green and purple. And she missed him way more than a friend.

At first, she hadn’t noticed. Yes, she missed him, but she missed Bayard, and Chessur, and the White Queen, and everyone. Of course, she missed him just a little bit more, not enough for her to notice straight away, but enough for his voice to follow her in her adventures, making her smile when looking at a particularly colorful silk in a Chinese market. Stuff like that.

She huffed and puffed and rolled to her side, trying to cast away the all-too familiar sadness that was pooling in her chest. When did it start to hurt it so, missing him? That question was still without an answer, for all she knew was that  _it had happened_ . One day, the joy of a new discovery had been tainted with a strange, unexpected sting somewhere behind her ribcage. She had been looking at scarves when an orange-patterned green silk had caught her eye and had – obviously – brought his visage to her mind. For the first time, the smile that naturally curved her lips whenever he came by, wasn’t as steady as usual. 

That had been months ago.

Months. How many…?

She silently counted them on her fingers. Eleven. Almost a whole year had she sunk into that horrendous feeling of… of…  _loneliness? Longing?_ She still wasn’t completely sure. She only knew that it had already been more than a year since her last stay in Underland when it had begun – and only a few months after her mother had passed away. She was still mourning her when she had first realized that her mother and her father’s ship had been the only reasons why she’d come back Above. Once she was left with only the ship, the distance from that odd family she’d found in that odd world had grown heavier. And then the scarf had happened.

_Eleven months._

How many times had she thought about coming back – and maybe this time, who knew, it could’ve been for good – in those eleven months?

_Too many, for sure_ , she thought feeling guilty. She still had her ship – and her sister, although they barely even wrote to each other – so why did she felt as if it wasn’t enough? Why were China, the adventures at sea, the spices not enough anymore? She wished with all her heart to be content with that, but she felt lonely and somehow all those new discoveries didn’t thrill her that much anymore: she had the entire world laid before her and a life most people wouldn’t even dare to dream of, so of course she felt guilty for not feeling as if it was enough. To tell the truth, she felt like a capricious child who can’t get enough Christmas presents.

Although… some tiny voice inside her  _loved_ to remind her that the real problem was exactly that she wasn’t a child anymore. There were things she wished, things she longed for…

Alice bit her bottom lips.  _Shush, those are not proper thoughts for a girl._ She blushed.

_Oh, really? And since when you care about what’s proper?_

Ok, that voice actually had a point. But it was all so embarrassing, the way she had been missing him… less and less as a mere friend, and more and more as… something else. Something that was still a friend, but also much, much more.

_Eleven months._

And the dreams had become increasingly distressing: the happy, sweet memories of her stays in Underland had turned into gray landscapes, murmurs, fading images of the people who – she knew – were still waiting for her return. More than once she had dreamt of being so, so close to them, just to be dragged away. And more than once she had dreamt of callous hands tenderly caressing her cheeks, and sweet nothings whispered in her ears, just to wake to a cold, empty room.

_Eleven months_ .

Yes, she had had eleven months to mourn her mother, to mourn whatever meaningful bond was left in the Above world. Eleven months to realize and accept that her wishes and goals had changed since the last time she’d had to tell her friends goodbye.

«Why am I still here?» she asked to the silent room. She sat up. Yes, why was she still there?

All those months she’d been brooding, trying to put together the feelings and the dreams, trying to understand what she wanted. And she didn’t want  _that_ anymore. So why had she never tried to go back? She sure wasn’t shy when it came to adventures and change, but her reluctance hadn’t stroked her as unusual before that night. Before…

« _Alice, he’s waiting for you…_ »

Yes, the dream! She’d been so lost in her thoughts that she’d almost forgot about it. It had been so strange, that last dream. He wasn’t in it, but she somehow could feel something was off. The colors hadn’t been so bright, and she was pretty sure the small party she’d seen was standing right before the door to the Hatter’s workshop. Was something wrong with him? Why had they been so worried?

_He’s waiting… for me?_

Why? Had something happened? Was he hurt?

Alice jumped off the bed and looked for some clothes. She might have been a bit slow in accepting and processing all the changes of the last year, but if there was one thing that she was sure of, was that if  _he_ needed her – although for what, she couldn’t say – she had to find a way to come back.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading this! I'm glad for any critique you'd like to leave.. but I'm also glad if you simply enjoy reading this :)


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